I am so tired - spend the day running around, first trying to find Julie, and then going into Vancouver for a bit. Possibly also still adjusting to PST - I know I mentallly am with friends and stuff, going 'It's only one, where are people?', and then remembering for Winter and Mara it's four am, and for Jo it's three, and thus nobody else is around.

Also have managed to get a bit of a sunburn (my first of the year), but I have groceries! Although nothing to eat them off of, out of, or with, yet. And I have many things to do tomorrow, so I should probably get to bed.

Oh, and ResNet is acting all spazzy - my e-mail keeps timing out from this IP (I can connect via proxy), and AIM died on me (sorry Xandra, I'm not ignoring you, honest). If this keeps up, I'll be on MSN, though, so feel free to poke me there.

I am so tired - spend the day running around, first trying to find Julie, and then going into Vancouver for a bit. Possibly also still adjusting to PST - I know I mentallly am with friends and stuff, going 'It's only one, where are people?', and then remembering for Winter and Mara it's four am, and for Jo it's three, and thus nobody else is around.

Also have managed to get a bit of a sunburn (my first of the year), but I have groceries! Although nothing to eat them off of, out of, or with, yet. And I have many things to do tomorrow, so I should probably get to bed.

Oh, and ResNet is acting all spazzy - my e-mail keeps timing out from this IP (I can connect via proxy), and AIM died on me (sorry Xandra, I'm not ignoring you, honest). If this keeps up, I'll be on MSN, though, so feel free to poke me there.

Just a quick post to say that I'm in Vancouver and largely moved in to my dorm - just need to put up my posters and buy more coat hangers. I'll post my address (locked) later, but for now, I am about to crash, because I had forty-five minutes of sleep last night, and then spent most of the day walking around and moving large suitcases.

Checking in from Toronto, on my aunt and uncle's wireless network (which has a password even more ridiculously long than my own). Peaceful drive over through the width of New York - bit of rain, but nothing too bad. The secret to happy road trips is lots of good music, I think. Thankfully the border crossing went well - we didn't have to wait long, and the customs officer didn't bother looking through my stuff. I hope the airport security people don't decide to go through it either, just because I really don't know if I can get all the stuff I packed back in if they take it out. Our stop by Immigration also went over well - took all of fifteen minutes to get my study permit, and they didn't even look at a bunch of the forms and stuff we brought.

So my dad and I have kind of been hanging out and just chatting with the cousins - I haven't seen any of them in about five years now, so the youngest, who was probably 4'8" when I last saw him is now taller than me. Nice seeing them all again, though.

And I am sad that the only one of my OTPs that has enough decent fic is Remus/Sirius. I discovered that nobody else on LJ lists 'Clow/Yue' as an interest, and the Dante/Virgil fandom is...well, me, largely. And Jo, I guess. Hamlet/Horatio, Cain/Riff, Braska/Auron, Eva/Sparda, even Rufus/Tseng...there's barely any fanbase. And you'd think the fact that I ship Leon/anybody would keep me in fic, but...so much of the RE fic is terrible. Like...unreadably bad. I'd complain about the state of Dante-fic too (I ship Dante/almost everybody), except I'm fairly certain there's lots out there I just can't see.

This is possibly a sign that I should write more, and give some of these a boost. But after sleep...I'm about to crash, I think.

I have to be up at at eleven to leave for Toronto, and I can't sleep. Ugh. I am totally worked up and twitchy, and it is that unfortunate time of day were practically nobody is on, because it's getting a bit too late for even the west-coasters, and none of the east-coasters are up yet. I need to just...talk to someone, or something. And I've already rememebered at least three things I forgot to pack, although luckily only one of them was even remotely important.

Also, I think Grace thinks I'm insane or something, because she was all 'Oh, you'll really like [characters'] backstory when you get around to seeing it', and then it turns out their backstory was siblingcest. Which is not as hot as demonic twincest, but she was right, I did like it.

So, I'm about to leave for my dad's place - we're leaving for Toronto from there tomorrow, and then flying from there. I managed not to break down at all during packing, probably because I was too busy stressing out, but now it's all done and I'm on the verge of tears.

Said goodbye to all my friends at various points this week, and a bit of a goodbye to Boston with Mara, but this is the hard part - leaving my mom and brother, leaving my two cats, leaving the house I grew up in. Yeah, I'll be back in eight months at the absolute latest, but this is...the beginning of the end of that part of my life, I guess.

Julie, if you see this before you leave - stop by my room when you get there, yeah? It's listed on my Facebook page.

Everybody else - I'll have some internet between now and when I arrive on-campus the 29th, so I'll definately be checking e-mail and LJ, but I probably won't be on AIM/MSN much.

Right now, I am in love with the concept of 'somebody else's problem'. Today was my last day at work, at least for now - much as I hate to think about it, I'll probably be back next summer.

But for now, everything becomes somebody else's problem. Scuba class running ten minutes past closing? Somebody else's problem! Used bandaids on the deck? Somebody else's problem! Pool vac broken again? Someobdy else's problem!

I had some awesome co-workers, and a string of awesome bosses, but I am so happy I'm not going to be seeing that place for at least another eight months or so. Three years was way too much.

Oh my god. I need this shirt. Soon as I have some extra cash to waste on incredibly geek t-shirts XD;

*sigh* Having another moment of late-night indecision, although this time about my chosen field of study rather than where I'm going. And I know it's stupid to get worked up about - I can name several people off-hand who have jobs they love in careers totally unrelated to their undergrad degree. I guess it's just...I'm afraid of not being good enough at science to make it. I already had to be honest with myself and admit that while I love costume/fashion design, and graphic design, I am and probably will never be anywhere near good enough to make it my life. And that hurt, and I'm afraid everything I try to do will turn out that way.

Ugh. Am going to try getting to sleep some more, because I know I'll feel better afterwards.

How I love you so.

I probably should have gone to bed a good three hours ago, but instead I stayed up, read random stuff on ship_manifesto (good to know I'm not the only one who ships really really out there stuff, even if it isn't the same stuff), read some Crowley/Aziraphale fanfic, and now I am wandering though things on google and watching yaoi anime on Youtube.

Sometimes I wonder what I ever did without the internet XD;

It will be a cold day in hell when I can actually draw noses okay. They give me a strangely huge amount of trouble - I can't draw hands or feet that well either, but there you can futz with poses or cut them out of the picture or whatever. Noses are right there. It doesn't help that my style is some weird simplified thin in-between realism and anime/manga style - not enough shading to do more realistic noses, but anime-style noses look off.

And Asher, I love your bangs dearly, but they are a bitch to draw. Oh well. At least the muscles on this look pretty good. And mmm, shirtless!Asher.

Because I love how Asher got recruited to be a Turk, and it's not going to come up in-game any more (actually, not sure it would have anyway, he's a bit embarassed by it). Also some random stuff I meant to post earlier, I think.

Asher, before becoming a Turk, was a thief. Started with picking pockets, but he moved on to houses, largely on the upper plate. Not quite the best house robber ever, but he was pretty good. He made the mistake of trying to break into Drake's penthouse, not really knowing that Drake was the leader of the Turks and all. Drake, being an awesome old guy, caught him, and gave him three options - being a Turk, being turned over to the police, or trying to get out again. And while Asher is not always the sharpest tool in the shed, he knows better than to mess with a guy with a revolver who actually managed to catch him, and took the Turk option.

As for the second part - I got bored one day last winter and picked out BPAL scents for a bunch of the characters - Hoth and Hadrian aren't on there because I didn't (and still don't) have a good feel for their characters, and a few were hard to find good ones for. But here it is, for anyone curious.

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Something of a continuation of last night's post. I realized I forgot to mention something that amused me at work yesterday. There was a big end-of-summer party for all the members at the outdoor pool, so there was food and music and tons of people. So I'm sitting around the kiddie pool, contemplating some Isaac/Raphael stuff that may eventually get typed up, when 'YMCA' comes on over the sound system. This was amusing on two fronts - one, the overwhelming gay of that song, and two, the fact that my place of employment is like the YMCA except for richer, and overwhelmingly Jewish. We're the Jewish YMCA, pretty much.

Oh, and I realized that not everyone got the flash video reference I made last posts, so here's a link. Now imagine Futomimi sounding like the Russians there (everyone other than the three SMT fans reading this, substitute stern glaring man of your choice - Nagare or Tezuka, for instance - to get the same effect).

Also, I crave Hamlet/Horatio and Dante/Virgil (or Virgil/Dante, I really don't know who tops there). There needs to be more fic for both these pairings! Particularly stuff that isn't written by me for D/V.

And now, photo time! Mostly of where I work, because I think Jo and Grace are the only two of my friends to have ever been inside, although with two of me and my newly finished waistcoat

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Why is it that the only people that hit on me are guys twice as old as I am? Seriously, this is getting a little annoying D:

And I wish that all my professors had contact info listed online, not just my Bio prof. Because I can get cheap tickets for Y-con, but I have to miss two days of classes because the bus schedule from Vancouver to Seattle is terrible - I thought the commuter rail schedule was bad, but oh man, this is worse. Or that they had syllabi online with important things like whether or not I will fail my English class if I miss the lecture twice, and when midterms are.

...May end up buying the tickets anyway; Southwest is really good about refunds.

Also, the internet has corrupted me horribly. When Futomimi starts talking about 'our motherland', my mind totally imagined him saying it like the Russians in the End of the World flash video, which is more like 'AHH MOTHERLAND!'

And now, self, you will take deep breaths and stop panicking about plane stuff. It will get done, even if you do end up having to pay five hundred bucks to Air Canada. Work on drawing shirtless!Asher more. Or putting together a resume so you can apply for that job you're looking at.

+++ Divide By Cucumber Error. Please Reinstall Universe And Reboot +++

(I've hit that point of lack of sleep past being moody to where everything seems amusing an happy)

I miss S_F D: Not that City of Mako isn't awesome (because it really is), but Asher and Ally were hella fun to write.

And I totally need to find someone to do some one-on-one stuff with. Just because there's a few characters I'd like to try out, and while I know big games I could app them at, I'd rather get a feel for them on a more low-key basis. And hell, AIM RP is fun. Currently it's Vergil, who I think may turn out to be as insistant as Rufus. Bastard XD;

I feel so mixed up right now, emotionally. And I've probably been posting way too much vaguely emo introspective shit lately, but...it helps me to get it out there.

I really am such a screw-up sometimes, when it comes to relationships - both the romantic and the platonic. And no, I don't really want to explain further, unless you're Winter or Mara.

EDIT: Bejeweled is calming. Which is good, because it means I won't lay awake feeling utterly miserable.

Largely, the fact that I am pale and English and have great big round eyes is an advantage in cosplay, because so many video game and anime characters do not look Japanese or even just generally asian in the least (even the ones that are supposed to be Japanese). However, this means I am totally and completely screwed when it comes to characters who look at all asian. Like Roy. Or Tseng (this is why I'm planning on Rufus instead). Or, at the moment, the demi-fiend. Yes, I am weak. It's the tattoos, because they are freakin' awesome.

I do find it amusing that there are a number of things I can do about the fact the demi-fiend in shirtless and I am a 38B, but not about the fact that he's Japanese. Because yeah, already tried fixing that for Roy last year. Mostly just made me look kind of silly, which is why I don't post those photos anywhere.

Dear Self,

Just because some of your friends are not the most overtly friendly, welcoming, affectionate people does not mean they secretly hate you or like all their other friends more than you. Some people are just not very outwardly affectionate. They would in fact tell you if they didn't like you. Deal with it, live with it, because this is the source of many of your problems lately.

Thanks,
Me

And now for everybody else - a meme! I didn't post the first version of this that went around last year, so I feel like I should this time. Answers to number six will probably be kind of sad, though, because I am lame and can never remember interesting animals.

Comment and:

1. I'll respond with something random about you.
2. I'll challenge you to try something.
3. I'll pick a color that I associate with you.
4. I'll tell you something I like about you.
5. I'll tell you my first/clearest memory of you.
6. I'll tell you what animal you remind me of.
7. I'll ask you something I've always wanted to ask you.
8. If I do this for you, you must post this in your journal.

I've discovered that much as KMFDM makes really good DMC background music, VNV Nation makes really good Nocturne background music. 'Kingdom' even has lyrics that largely work.

Have to say though...damn, is the second kalpa hard. Both for some of the enemies, and for the room of infuriating madness (the one with all the invisible walls).

And I feel like drawing, but I suspect that it'll all come out crap at the moment. May try anyway, or do some outfit designs, as those don't need really excellent anatomy or anything.

I make it a general principle not to hate friends of my friends. Don't have to actually like them, but actively disliking them usually just leads to unpleasantness. But occasionally there'll be a person who I just want to scream at and go 'Get away from my friends! Get out of my fandom!', which is kind of irrational, as well as childish of me.

In unrelated news, I am doing sewing again. Yaaaay, go me! Except I've managed to misplace the one hand needle we have, and thus have to stop getting things done to look for it.

...To Jo!

Happy Birthday!

And now, back to my flute-playing :D

EDIT: It is somehow deeply comforting to be able to pick up my flute after almost two years of not playing, and still be able to do the simplified line of Ode to Joy from memory.

Yeah, should be asleep (eye doctors' appointment at eleven, ugh), but eh. Anyway. Who's coming to Yaoicon this year, and what are people doing cosplay-wise? I'm kind of trying to figure out what to haul out with me - current vague line-up is yukata!Tatsumi and wedding!Seishirou, because they need more con-time and hell, it's Yaoicon, and mafia!Leon for something new, hopefully. May also bring Virgil (note spelling) with me, to hold Jo to a certain promise she made last year XD; This, however, may change depending on what other people are doing - there any outfit in specific people want me to bring out?

So I was looking at the UBC website to see what books I need for this fall. And it turns out that UBC first-year bio uses the same text book Intro to Biotech did.

Which I sold back to the bookstore. For a quarter the original price, because buyback is a rip-off.

Head, meet desk.

Dear Self,

Don't start panicking about finding a job on campus right now. It's August. You aren't even out there yet. And even if you can't find anything, you're good enough at budgeting to live off your savings account alone for a year.

-Me

This list is more for me than anything, but I figured someone out there might enjoy it, and hell, I'm happy for suggestions for homes for any of them, or anyone who wants to play around with them with me or whatever.

Issac and Raphael: They have their own post of description from last fall, and are my current frustrations - they have personality, some backstory, but all I ever get out of them is little snippets of conversation. I was hoping if I let them sit around long enough, plot-things would happen on their own, but it's been eight months, and...nothing. Argh.

Mira and Alex: Haven't actually met, but they're from the same universe so they get grouped together. Dunno if anyone remembers me going on about how the Sprawl would be a great RP setting, but, uh, I got bored and came up with characters for it. Yes. A game that doesn't exist. Alex is half-Greek, and used to be a mercenary. Now he's a bouncer with an alcohol problem (which is why he's not a merc any more). Mira was a molecular engineer working for Maas, but decided that she needed more excitement in her life, and left with a lot of confidential research data, which she sold for a great deal of money. She's currently working as a console jockey and won't take shit from anyone. Either Mexican or Indian (never decided), and Mira isn't her real name.

Malcolm: Some variety of storm-mage; I never got around to really defining his powers. Lives in the modern world or some close variation, in England. Probably wanted to be writer or something, but ended up in a shitty managerial position in a big company somewhere. Hates his job, hates his life, finds his powers more of a nuisance than anything else - bitter and cynical, pretty much. Also has that Neil Gaiman/Tim Burton-sort of crazy hair.

Unamed Water Mage: Incredibly short-tempered, and possibly also a ship's pilot. Born out of the observation that it's usually just the fire mages who are short tempered; she hates it when anyone points this out to her.

Unamed Lab Tech: The only one of these who has a definate home - I was considering offering up a lab slave research assistant to Dr. Petras over in City of Mako - hopelessly naive, totally enamoured with science, and thinks Hojo is absolutely brilliant, not knowing what a crazy asshole he is. She's proably a bit stereotypically nerdy, but CoM could probably use some people who aren't either perpetually grumpy or totally spastic and high on something.

Just a bit of frustrated venting. Something Julie posted brought it out, but this has been simmering for a long, long time now. For non-ranty things, skip down to the next entry.

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Okay! So, as part of my dorm-room decoration (I got a single! Yes!), I've decided I'm going to make a great big collage of photos of friends, pets, and assorted family members. And to that end, I need, well, photos. I've got plenty of family, and I know I've got some friends - lots of Jo and Mara, a handful of older ones of Grace, Anthony, and Winter, as well as a couple of Skuld somewhere, but this isn't enough.

Which brings me to my point - any of my friends who want to be included who I don't have photos of should send me a photo or two. Doesn't really matter if we've actually met or not, or if we haven't talked in years or whatever. All are welcome to contribute. My e-mail is cocoa[at]tokyo-tower.org - high-res stuff is better, because I'm going to be printing these out.

There's a handful of communities on LJ I'd like to join (almost all DMC, actually - - no other fandom I've been in has been so damned obsessive about hiding their pr0n), but haven't, simply because they require you to be over eighteen, with a year of birth listed in your profile. And I'm not comfortable doing that, even now that I am over eighteen, and it took me a while to figure out why.

I think it's a carry-over from my earlier days in fandom, particularly with X. I was fourteen when I first started getting into the X fandom, which skews a lot more towards early to mid-twenties. And I never told anyone my age unless they outright asked, because I didn't want to be seen as the young kid in the fandom. And I still don't. Yeah, I'm eighteen now, but I still hang with people a lot older than me, and I don't want to be judged by how old I am, I want to be judged by who I am as a person.

Which I guess means no DMC pr0n for me >.>

So, recently, two other things I wanted went missing - my second packet of acceptance stuff from UBC (they upped my scholarship and sent me a second letter and everything), and my DMC3 manga, which I wanted for layout/icon/wallpaper-ing purposes.

A search has yielded the first of these, although with my favorite black cargo pants that disappeared back in June (they managed to get wedged under my short black dresser and thus were invisible until I swept my hand under it). Still missing the manga though, which will be hard to find in among my mountains of books, and my DDR pads, which shouldn't be hard to find because they're not exactly tiny, but somehow elude me anyway. My mom swears she didn't accidently sell them in the yard sale (I wasn't here and didn't know she was having one, so I couldn't exactly supervise), but, well, this is my mom.

EDIT: Okay, DDR pads turned up underneath a chair downstairs. Which leaves my manga.

EDIT 2: Aaaaand...we have success! Manga was hiding under my Canadian money and three volumes of X with the spine turned in. Graphics-things shall commence, after some Nocturne, I think. And my torrents need to go faster argh. This is probably what I get for downloading two full seasons at once (Digimon 01 and Lost season 1 because I am weak and impure).