I love you even as you break my heart over and over. Seriously, only game to actually outright make me cry, because while the ending is 'good', it's also very bittersweet - you are keenly aware of all the sacrifices that are made to get there. I know FF7 has Aeris, but somehow her death doesn't have the scope, the impact that seeing Yuna perform the Sending for a row of bodies in a half-destroyed village does. Death is more present in Spira, and while the game may have it's little romance plot (I don't really want to say subplot, because while it's subtle it's very important to the story), the focus is really on the balance of life and death, of sorrow and hope.

Part of me wants to like, write a super-long post about Braska and Yuna and why I love them both so so so much, but I don't think I could adequately capture it in words. They're both such complex characters - even though yeah, Braska is in the game for like all of ten minutes total. I don't think I could ever really write FFX fic for the same reason - I could never narrow the focus enough. I can handle Braska in RP, though I don't think I could pull of the hint of uncertainty in herself that Yuna still has through much of the game. I guess I will say this much - I'm pretty much an avowed atheist, but writing Braska gives me a glimpse of the strength and power of belief. And yeah, I am not totally unaware of the irony that my dad's belief system is in some ways very similar to Braska's, although their personalities are, uh. Definitely a bit different. And some of it is that I am kind of a snarky asshole and I play a lot of snarky assholes, and they're all great fun, but there's something both calming and cleansing about writing someone so kind and so certain of himself as Braska.

(Guess who spent like two hours tonight watching FFX clips as a refresher for a Braska app, and then followed it up with horribly depressing FFX fanfic. I feel like I need to do a scene of Braska being totally fluffy with his pet ninja boy or having tea with Minato or something now, to make up for it.)

-Increased dose of Wellbutrin does craaaazy things to my brain. Anxiety as a side-effect + pre-existing anxiety disorders = five hours of me fidgeting compulsively and being totally unable to focus on anything. Hopefully it'll even out after a few days but whoa, that was a bit intense

-Have gotten mostly caught up on Merlin S2 (haven't watched tonight's ep yet, but soon!), and oh BBC, I love you and your iffy script-writing and bad special effects. Best moment so far was the incredibly awkward not-hug which I will be laughing about forever.

-I still hate 18th century lit ahhhhh.

Okay time to try to sleep :|

I am probably spending way to much brain-energy this week on creating steampunk!Rufus for The Sky Tides, although it has given me more info to add to my vast store of utterly useless facts. A symptom of this is that while I am usually not really into the 18th/19th century harlequin romance heroes, there's something about the mental image of Rufus horseback riding - 19th century clothes, tall riding boots, jacket off, shirt sleeves rolled up slightly - that's really incredibly hot.

Anyway. As a distraction from my shallow fangirling, have hilarious goldfish. I literally laughed for like two minutes straight.

Also, I just have say this - 18th century lit and the lack of standardized capitalization blows. Trying to read sentences where half the nouns are capitalized is really hard - it totally messes up all my visual sentence break cues.

Suit sewing is a go - I have two weeks before I have to start in on term papers, so I am using them to my cosplay advantage. I am already sick of welt pockets, but ah well. I will be able to add suits to the list of 'sewing projects I could do in my sleep' (other entries - hakama, kimono, and vests) after this, I think. Ced and I have been scheming recruitment and photoshoots, which is always fun, although it's all still planning right now.

Related to that, more Case of Shinra is up - there's canon confirmation for two fanon assumptions (Rufus's mother's death, and the Turks helping evacuate Midgar), evidence for my 'President Shinra is less of a dick than we thought' theory (he uses his son's birthday as his passcode for everything), and Tseng in a Hawaiian shirt. I am kind of loving it.

And not at all related to that, I put up Halloween photos - they're here, I'm too lazy to embed right now.

-Zombies were a success!
-So was the fudge and marshmallows.
-A+ comment of the evening from Julie, when I showed up with my hair slicked back: "OH MY GOD ARE YOU ZOMBIE RUFUS?!" Tragically no, although that'd be an awesome costume
-Best costume, by far, of the night - the guy who dressed as George Harrison, came with a nice classic electric guitar, and played Beatles songs all night.
-Watching a shirtless man in leggings and a luchadore mask singing Rock Band songs at the top of his lungs is awesome

My plan for the rest of the night is to upload and edit camera images, and zen out to the sounds of my roommate playing Katamari Forever while I read more Nabari no Ou and get something to eat that isn't packed with sugar~