First was going to NC for a week for my mom's family reunion and various relative-visiting. It wasn't awful, but it wasn't fabulous either - I'm just too different from most of them, and enforced socialization is so much nope. Then it was off to Heroescon in Charlotte, which was loads of fun - interesting panels, got to meet awesome artists and writers in person, bought a ton of art, got lots of pictures of my classic Phoenix costume taken. From Charlotte I headed to Portland for Open Source Bridge with a bunch of DW people. Portland was lovely, and the conference was great, but I was unfortunately a little bit burnt out on travel and being social at that point, so I didn't get quite as much out of the trip as I could have, I think. I had a few days of downtime after I got back, and then drove out to Wisconsin to spend the 4th of July long weekend with Andy, which was low-key enough that I enjoyed it thoroughly. We played a ton of boardgames, sat around watching anime, and went out and got some new photos of a few of our costumes (which I still need to process). Then I drove home Monday and... spent basically all of Tuesday asleep. Which I hadn't intended, but it happens.

Time to set about Getting Things Done.

Yes KnitPicks, I actually can, as I don't knit socks and I have at least four unknit skeins of sock yarn (all bought as souvenir yarn, which is how I justified breaking 'no more yarn until I use some up'). I have similarly forbidden myself from starting new cosplay projects until I get some done, and from buying fabric for projects I do not immediately plan on starting. Doing piecing-sketches is okay, though.

We are, like half of the Eastern seaboard, snowed in. I didn't have to go anywhere today which is just as well because I woke up, looked outside, and decided the closest I was coming to leaving the house was getting the mail from the front porch. I've been sewing instead of any of a million other things that I should be doing, because I'm bad at being an adult and obligations are hard.

Lastly, as suggested by the subject, does anyone have podcast recs? I realized yesterday that I have like, a minimum of six hours a week of driving given my class schedule, and there is only so many times I can listen to the one techno-industrial mix CD that lives in my car. On the list so far - Welcome to Night Vale, Stuff You Should Know, Stuff You Missed In History Class, and Radiolab. My main baseline criteria is 'won't make me angry' and 'has decent sound editing' - other than that, I'm open to considering both nonfiction and fiction.

-drove cross-country as the ‘person in charge’
-visited Yellowstone National Park!
-learned how to dye silk
-started buying weekly comics issues
-started using tumblr
-FINISHED MY COSPLAY SITE (uh, mostly)
-got my first pet who is 100% my responsibility

And looking back at my 2013 goals of 'floss more' and 'pick up more' I didn't quite make it to every day but I definitely got better at it. This year's goal? Stop picking at my skin.

The whole concert was sort of a cascade of serendipity - I was talking to Fey on IM Saturday and Sunday night, and she went 'Hey, you like Vienna Teng, right? She has a new album out and it's all up streaming on her website.' I went to look and oh, hey, concert dates! In North Hampton on Monday, and Boston Tuesday! Which is how I ended up buying tickets today (and paying $6 extra for it ugh). Then, in the process of trying to talk my brother into coming, he said 'Don't you have friends in Boston than you can go with?' and I replied 'Well, yeah, sort of, but not like... friends I can call right now and be all 'HEY do you want to come to a Vienna Teng concert with me tonight?'. Lo and behold, after the concert is over and people are milling around the merch table and the chairs... I spot some of aforementioned friends, of the DW variety. Which included one I had not met in meatspace yet! So that was a lovely little cap to a lovely concert.

It was mostly new-album stuff this time - which was lovely live, and I always like hearing the little stories behind each song, although I secretly wished for more early stuff. But I think some of that was that I've listened to those albums over and over and over so they've kind of engraved themselves in my soul, and the new one hasn't had time to do that to me yet. It was really interesting to see some of the effects done live, and learning little things like the percussion line in 'Copenhagen' being played on plastic cups. And there was a little signing line/meet and greet after and while I didn't have anything to sign, I went to tell Vienna how much I love her music and was glad to see her again because the last time had been at Club Passem in Cambridge, way back in 2005 (just under a year before I moved to Canada, so it feels sort of like a bookend). And I got an unprompted hug and then had a friend take a photo of us on my cellphone so I can sit and sigh dreamily at it.

(for the curious, the songs played, in order by album rather than by played, were Gravity, Green Island Serenade, Recessional, The Last Snowfall, Antebellum, Grandmother Song, and all of AIMS except 'Never Look Away')

On the plus side, having my brother around means that we both end up getting out to do stuff (mostly errands but errands need doing), and have some sort of human interaction.

I have also discovered that podcasts and knitting go together quite well, which is how I've listened to all of Night Vale (and I have Thoughts about that but... another post), and am halfway through a sweater vest pattern I started months ago, ignored, discovered I'd done twenty rows mobius-strip'ed and had to take out on my giant week of crosscountry driving, and then started again. So that's a thing?

One of the themes that seemed to resonate through a lot of the panels (and that I've also seen in some of the costuming community here on tumblr) is the idea of cosplaying for you. That it should be about you feeling comfortable (okay, except maybe the deliberate sacrifices we sometimes make in suffering for our art *g*), and good about yourself, and happy in your costume - not about arbitrary standards of comparison, or tearing each other down.

And for myself, I ended up thinking a lot about the idea of mastery and growing in skill as a costumer. I've been doing this for... at least ten years now, which is a really goddamn long time, and I've definitely learned a lot over that time, but I'm not at the level I'd like to be at, or the level I think I could be at. It's a problem with seeing the details as I progress, or in patience, maybe, and it crops up other places too - my writing and coding in particular stand out as things that suffer from it. Writing doesn't get finished, or doesn't get explored as thoroughly as an idea deserves. Code either has bugs someone else has to catch, or I get frustrated and give up.

They had a Costuming Guest Q&A panel, so I took the opportunity to ask, basically, 'what general advice would you give for moving from intermediate level cosplay to mastery?' And I felt like the answers were good, and all very true:

-practice, practice, practice
-have patience
-give yourself enough time
-...but set some deadlines, because they force you to innovate
-accept that sometimes you're going to have to start over

Definitely things for me to think about as I start in planning for Teslacon and next year. My particular mix of brain chemistry is probably playing in to some of these problems, too, but that's a different dimension to work on

I've been trying to think about all the good things waiting for me back in MA (having a dishwasher, my mom's power tools, the comic book store I grew up with) instead of all the things I'm going to miss here (my friends, the weather, universal healthcare). It's mostly working, except I'm already getting antsy about packing and I've got a month and a half here still. I keep making mental lists of what is going to happen with all the furniture, what's going to happen if my first plan for all the furniture fails, what's getting packed where, all that.

It's kind of got my stress nightmares on the rise, which is less than exciting. But I'll survive. The current plan is to pack in mid-August, then leave here with my station-wagon and a UHaul trailer (and probably my dad) right before the end of the month, to drive the Trans-Canada back to MA.

I also had a bit of insight on what I'd like to learn more about, CS-wise - which is UI design. I love design in general, but I realized that usability is what makes me really love a design or hate it. Good UI is a thing I want to rub my brain all over (hello there, Ravelry). So I think I'm going to do some more reading into that little slice of things, and maybe actually finally try learning Javascript?

Creativity-wise, I'm doing lots of RP, got two new costumes done for Sakuracon in April (photos to come when I... get around to editting them properly), and doing some knitting. I got two sweaters done in rapid succession back in February/March, but my heart hasn't been in the projects since then. Also still doing DW work, as anyone reading the news posts has probably noticed.

In terms of media consumption, it's mostly been COMICS COMICS COMICS COMICS, though I'm still watching Dr Who, and J and I marathoned all of Last Exile a few weeks ago. But Marvel is a deep, dark abyss - I'm not sure I can recall everything I've read in the last few months offhand enough to list. The current titles I've been buying are All-New X-Men, Uncanny X-Men (despite Bendis not writing great X-titles), Young Avengers, X-Factor, and Cable & X-Force. Cable & X-Force is my favorite of the bunch, but my feelings about Nathan Summers, let me tell you about them (no, actually, you don't want to get me started).

Real life, as usual, is where the stress lays. I've been working odd temp shifts at a small food production plant, which is kind of frustrating because I never know if I'm going to have enough hours for all my rent and bills, and the work is hard on my body. But I like a lot of my coworkers, so it could be a lot worse. I'm still not sure what the future holds, though it's narrowed down to two major possibilities - either grad school, or probably moving back to MA unless something really unexpected happens. I've more or less made my peace with either option, but the uncertainty is a little nerve-wracking.

I kind of shy away from the idea of New Year's resolutions because, well, they always end up broken, but we'll call these New Year's goals. Things to strive towards, without beating myself up too much if I slip up along the way.
-stick to the two new habits I started near the end of 2012 - flossing my teeth and picking up around the house daily.
-cross some things off my 'want to learn'/'want to read'/'want to watch' list
-get a career-job.

I've also got most of my Christmas crafting done - mostly putting finishing touches on things, and I think it'll all be done this week. I'm actually going home for Christmas for the first time in a few years, which will be really nice.

Pretty much the one thing that feels lacking is the employment situation - I'm still sending my resume out, doing what networking I can, but no bites. I feel like, I dunno, that I'm missing something. Some big 'How To Get A Job' secret that the rest of the world knows and I don't. I know the reality of it is the economy, and the fact that I'm here on a visa, but it's still super-frustrating.

-Marginalia (working title for the eReader quote db project, see previous post)
-Pantry tracker (what do I have? When did I buy it? Seemed popular idea-wise in #dw)
-FUCKING WIZARD LAYERS (I will probably not tackle this but it drives me up the wall)
-FUCKING LAYER EDITOR (...see above, though Fey has given me a possible solution)
-Something to introduce recipe variety on a basic level (I love whatthefuckshouldimakefordinner.com in principle but most of the recipes include things I don't have, and I hate shopping)
-work-out reminder/incentives?
-semi-flexible scheduler for practicing artsy stuff (there was a discussion on learning and routines in reddit, and about how it's far better to do something EVERY DAY than a few days a week or something)
-something organization something something (my house is a constant disaster. I don't even know where to start)
-a script/extension for me to annotate my buglist on Bugzilla (because I hate going 'okay, I think I have patches in for these four for review, and this one depends on another bug, and...' because it's not easily visualized)
-highlight reddit posts by subreddit they appear in (can you tell I like visual cues?)

I've spent the last two weeks or so contemplating doing freelance web design - started making a portfolio site, doing lots of reading on freelancing, etc. And I came to the conclusion tonight that I don't think I can. I'm a pretty good web designer. Over the broad category of anyone who's made a webpage, I think I can safely put myself in 'above average'. But I lack the talent for creativity and innovation necessary to be pro, to make enough to make a living off it. I don't know if that's something I could improve over time, or if it's just some quirk of luck that makes some people innovative and others not. But I don't really have the time to practice and find out.

And then I sat back and thought - you know what? I have a skill set already that I'm pretty damn good at by most measurements I've seen, which is hands-on betnchwork in molecular biology. I am a pro at this. Except, of course, for the part where nobody will pay me to do what I'm good at. And I know that some of this is the economy, and some of this is the deeply messed up way academia works these days, and some of this is just not knowing enough people (and having no idea how to meet more - seriously, where do biologists hang out?). But I think tomorrow I'm going to call a place or two to ask about volunteer work, and maybe I'll actually do that Masters program application.

-Frustrating job laid me off, which effectively resolved my dilemma if I should quit and search harder for something that wasn't pure physical labor at insane overtime.
-I have been swimming in a sea of CSS, mostly working on things for Dreamwidth instead of, oh, any of my own sites. But it's like slacking off productively!
-I have failed utterly at working on learning any other coding language (aside from a bit of S2 and that doesn't count)
-I have pretty much managed to keep to my cleaning goal.
-I'm considering trying to save up for a new car because 1) the crazy lady next door keeps threatening to have mine towed and 2) some jackass smashed one of my windows in and 3) the car is sixteen years old and showing it's age.
-Started reading Marvel comics. If I disappear, I've fallen too deep into the abyss. Don't follow me.

I'm also starting to realize I need to upgrade my personal blog - it's still running Moveable Type 4.1 which is... years old. And uses tables for layout, and now that I look, has no wide content handler. And the layout is a little embarassingly old-school in light of my DW stuff. Options are most likely either upgrading MT which has the pro of a templating language I know and the con of being owned by Six Apart who I'm not fond off after how they handled LJ, or switching to Wordpress. I don't know if the Wordpress templating system has gotten less complex since I first looked at in like 2005, but I've become a better coder, and it does seem to be the blogging software these days. Thoughts, anyone?